Monday, November 15, 2010

Avoiding Middle-Child/Second-Child Syndrome

When you have your first child, everything is new and exciting. And the same goes with your pregnancy. Although every pregnancy is different, your second time around, it kind of loses it luster. Maybe that isn't the case for everyone and it is a bad generalization, but that has been my experience. With Harrison, I had the nursery painted and set-up, ready to go three months ahead of his arrival. Now, I haven't even thought about it...except that Fisher gets what Harrison had as that makes the most sense. I also did an elective 29 week ultrasound with 3D/4D images so I could see sweet Harrison's face again. Now, I'm rounding the corner to 33 weeks and I've passed the time where you can really see them (as they get too big soon). Don't get me wrong, I really want to see this little fella in my belly, but I just can't justify spending the money on it or a new nursery, new clothes, and as my previous post suggested, the time for a blog. I have to constantly remind myself that this is the last time we are going to do this. About 15 times a day, I remark to Adam, "Oh my gosh, did you see my belly? He must be doing flips...come feel it." And lo and behold, Adam can almost never feel it. The other night I had to say to him, "This is the last time I'm going to be pregnant. You have to come feel this. We won't get to do this again." And this is a new experience for me since I hardly ever felt Harrison move while Baby Fisher seems to be brushing up on his acrobatics about every 30 minutes.
So, it's easy to see how kids get a middle-child syndrome (or 2nd child syndrome, in our case) complex. I'm starting to give Fisher the short end of the stick and he hasn't made his debut into the world yet. I'm sure there are a lot of naysayers out there who think that it doesn't exist. Maybe you know of an isolated case, but for the most part, it does exist. Ask some middle children. I'm not one. I was the baby...the preferred in the pecking order. It almost seemed like I was an only child at times as my sister and brother were 5 and 7 years older than me. So, I'm not complaining as a middle child; I'm just making observations.
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Hannah Alexander said...

I think Fisher is going to LOVE life and will not feel like he has the short end of the stick at all! He's lucky that he gets you, Adam AND a big brother... harrison definitely didn't have that. And if it makes you feel any better, I don't feel like I have appreciated this first pregnancy or thought about it enough because of my insanity of a work schedule this spring and fall, so it happens to everyone. You've just had a busy season. praying for y'all- so excited all around for all of us, whoot whoot!

Joan Brantley said...

Fisher will be unique in his own way, he can't be a middle child, because there are only two!!! He will be loved and his Nana and Papa will make him feel like he is special and loved as much as Harrison!! I can only wait. I feel the excitement grow each day to hold this special baby!Lots of love to all of you as we await the new and special addition to the family.

Leah said...

you will be fine. although the little man does need a bed and some diapers! i will say that both of my kids are different but alike in alot of ways. i was more worried about loving another one like i loved my first...believe me it soooo happens! i love my littlest man!!! thats all that matters! i love you too!